Why We Quit Asking for Help
By Julianne Stevenson
This is for you if…
If you do the work your ethic demands (versus the work you’re paid for), this is for you. If you’re buried and alone but still plowing through, this is for you. If people tell you that you work too hard and you should just “leave it at the office,” this is for you.
At the Big Box store…
Preparing to do some gardening I realized that I needed a hoe. In a hurry to begin my work I marched up to an employee of the big box store and asked, “If I were a hoe, where would I be?
“I’m not sure, it is my first day.”
At the nursing home…
As a paramedic responding for an elderly patient at the local “Skilled Nursing Facility” (aka “nursing home”) I ask, “Can you tell me what her normal mental status is?”
“I don’t know, this isn’t my normal hall.”
Did I Expect Too Much?
Before becoming a paramedic I’d earned a master of science in Molecular Physiology and Biophysics. I’d gone on to work in a wet bench lab and for a contractor for NASA. In these environments, “I don’t know” was a perfectly acceptable answer. However, instead of following the statement with “insert excuse here” as the examples above, the proper follow-up was “Let me find out and get back to you.”
This is the model I’ve continued to follow when I am the recipient of such questions.
However, it has not been my experience that this is a common model.
Have YOU Been Frustrated…Let Down?
Very little to no training is provided to many EMS Educators and almost all EMS Education Program Directors. Was that you?
Instead of constant disappointment have you made the decision that it is simpler, more efficient, and zero disappointment to just do it yourself?
Instead of asking for guidance, do you just put your head down, lean into the traces, and pull with everything you’ve got?
How’s that working out for you? Even the smartest hardest workers will still get hit with a sneaky, silent freight train. In EMS education that is honestly most likely to come from the academicians above us. However, it can happen with regard to student learning, affective challenges and regional public relations.
The Key is Curated Assistance
If you’re not in EMS education, I’m not your SME…but I’m generally happy to see if I can help you anyway (let me find out and get back to you).
However, if you ARE in EMS Education, any level, I am here…just a girl humbly offering her big bag of expensive experience trying to save you time and a bloody forehead. Not only do I carry my own bag of experience, I have a large and equally helpful network to whom I can reach on things where maybe I’m not so familiar. I’m just saying I won’t disappoint you. I’ve already punched those same brick walls and it is truly, cornily, and authentically my soul-satisfying need to help. Honestly, it sometimes annoys people.
Consider this my love letter to you. I realize that this is not normal in today’s society–that’s ok, nobody has ever accused me of being “normal.”
So, please, take advantage of me. Don’t be shy or reticent. It is no bother in the same way it is no bother for a kid to play with their favorite toy.
Words are cheap and meaningless, so I fully expect you to put me to the test.
You can start by searching in our Knowledge Base. While it houses stuff for our EMS-EDS (Educational Documentation System), just search “PD Handbook” for free resources that anybody can use! There you’ll find our free PDF Field Note, a triage list for brand new EMS education program directors, and other items. You can even search this blog for help with how to handle the affective domain or how to teach clinical judgment.
Just try me once. Just ask. And if I am unsure or do not know…
“Let me find out and get back to you.”
About Julianne
EMS is Important. This is Julianne’s heartfelt belief and the reason behind everything she does. As an EMS educator and program director she recognized the need for additional personnel that were never going to be funded by “the powers that be” hence Sterling Credentials–the world’s first EMS-EDS (Educational Documentation System) was born. She hopes to continue to help educators break free of “dumb” administrative jobs to allow them to apply all their time and intellectual resources to their students…and in that, every patient their graduates ever touch.