What if My Student Smells Bad?
No doubt, when that pungent whiff of body odor from an EMS student hits you, you cringe for all sorts of reasons. Namely, what strikes you right after the nasal assault is that YOU will have to figure out how to correct the offender. Oh, I suppose you could ignore it and just let the problem be–but what kind of heartless coward would do that?
If you do NOT address it, the likelihood is that this person, after pouring themselves into their education, will not even make it past a first interview. In that case your omission is, indeed, a fatal error. As an EMS Educator you’ve accepted the same responsibility and honor that you had at the side of your patient–and this requires nothing but your absolute best.
And, as a teacher, you are responsible for the learning domain known as the “affective domain,” and we do NOT sluff on responsibility!
Put on Your Coat of Care
Even the most difficult of conversations can be handled in such a way that both parties emerge with a greater appreciation of the other. It just takes the correct attitudinal wrapping.
–Julianne Stevenson
How have you handled this type of situation in the past…or have you not yet had the pleasure? If not, it IS coming–trust me. You should resolve at THIS moment to never hide from such a situation. It is the equivalent of a high-acuity low-prevelance skill out in the field–scary as hell but you feel SO accomplished when you pull it off!
It could be body odor, failing out of the program or ANY other awkward or uncomfortable communication. If the recipient ends up embarrassed, confused, angry, defeated, or any other highly-negative emotion, your talk accomplishes exactly NOTHING to move that person forward in a successful life. We went into EMS Education because it is that “next level” of helper–but nobody helped us to identify and/or sharpen essential skills.
Well, there is no reason to struggle, stumble, and fall on your face. There is a very simple technique that, when done authentically, will ease any type of conveyance you are forced to do.
Lead with love.
EEEEK!!! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?! “LOVE?!”
You heard me, love. I know it makes you squeamish but that is only because our society has SO fully misused and abused the verb. To “love” is to sacrifice in the care of the other. Examples of this sacrifice could be time, resources, your own preferences, effort, energy, etc.–basically anything you can GIVE.
So, you first sit a minute and think how you would want a superior to handle this same situation with someone you love dearly.
Then you also begin to think of possible reasons (beyond neglect) why the person might stink. Allergic to regular deodorant and hasn’t found a substitute that works? Medical issue (like one time my hairdresser was taking some med for bladder spasms that made her smell like asparagus)? Maybe the clothes washer is in need of a good “drum cleaning” cycle which has left the clothes smelling sour? Maybe the person has literally NO sense of smell. Maybe they got all sweaty changing a tire trying to get to school on time?
The final step is to think of the most kind words you can use to express the problem. At the same time, consider the proper tone–casual notification? Innocent question? Empathetic observation? Again, bring to your mind that person you love most in the world.
“Hey X, can we talk in my office?”
The exact words you use will also be related to the personality profile of the student.
- I just had to visit with one of your classmates about their excessive use of body spray. I know my nose is very sensitive, but I also detect something on you I can’t quite identify.
- So, you KNOW I care about you and your success, right? So, this is a little difficult for both of us, but I have to ask–is there a reason that you might have a stronger odor than normal?
- I know we just met, but I sense a huge amount of potential in you. To that end, I’m sorry we have to do this now, but it is my job to help you be your best and succeed. Are you going through anything right now which might produce an odor noticeable to others?
In these ways, you open up a conversation which can focus on how much you care and how you just know they’ll be a good medic. A tiny mention of how odor can hold you back will be far outweighed by whatever is revealed in this meeting. The whole thing should be soothing and understanding.
Yes, any normal person will be embarrassed, but it also helps if you have an embarrassing story at the ready: did I ever tell you about the time my partner let me go around for a whole 12 hours before he said, “Oh yeah, I noticed that big hole in the ass of your pants at our very first call this morning. I meant to tell you.”
Seems my old partner could’ve used some help in the affective domain, too!
How would you (or have you) ideally handle awkward conversations?